


Its the same every time

by Revengemikeybean



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Death, M/M, Mikey died :(, car crash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-27 05:34:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7605634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Revengemikeybean/pseuds/Revengemikeybean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard felt numb. He’d gotten the call five, ten, maybe even- fuck, who even cared when? He just sat there, tears spilling down his cheeks and hands shaking while the rest of him stayed perfectly still. The news ran around in his head: Mikey, his little brother, the person he was supposed to protect, was dead. It was a car crash - it always was, wasn’t it? - and the typical thing had happened. ‘He lost too much blood… We tried everything… We couldn’t save him...’.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have found a co author!  
> CelemenaDrive is a great writer and I'm honoured to have them here to help ^-^

Gerard felt numb. He’d gotten the call five, ten, maybe even- fuck, who even cared when? He just sat there, tears spilling down his cheeks and hands shaking while the rest of him stayed perfectly still. The news ran around in his head: Mikey, his little brother, the person he was supposed to protect, was dead. It was a car crash - it always was, wasn’t it? - and the typical thing had happened. ‘He lost too much blood… We tried everything… We couldn’t save him...’. Initially he’d called out for Frank, hoping that his boyfriend would be somewhere close by, but then he remembered. Frank wouldn’t be home, he couldn’t, he was busy. He’d said he wouldn’t come home til late, laughed and rolled his eyes when Gerard had murmured something about leaving food out for him, promised he’d get a veggie lasagna on the way home. But Gerard needed him, and he wanted to call him, he really did, but he couldn’t force himself to move his hands. He stayed silent, so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t hear the door open.

 Frank wasn't expecting to get home an hour earlier than he'd promised. Yeah, it had been a rough day, but he was home now and he knew that as soon as he held his boyfriend in his arms everything would be okay. "Gee?" He called when he entered the house, placing the lasagna on the kitchen and then walking to their bedroom. "Hey, I'm home. I thought I wouldn't be until later tonight, but –" He stopped short when he saw his boyfriend's hands shaking and his hair covering his face. "Gerard?" He spoke softly. "You're shaking, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

 "M-mikey..." Gerard mumbled. It was the only thing he could bring himself to say, as he suddenly felt sick, his skin a deathly pale with the sadness and the shock. If he said anything else, he knew he'd probably end up bursting back into tears. He looked up at Frank, his eyes dull and brimming with tears, the hazel glint that usually shone through clouded. There were tear stains trailing down his face and honestly, he looked like a complete wreck - an empty shell of someone whos life and heart had been torn in half viciously by just one death, one phone call that made all the difference. He eventually went back to staring at the plain carpet, lost in a maze of thoughts before finally, Gerard felt tears begin to slip down his face again

 Frank's eyes widened when Gerard looked up at him. He was paler than usual, and it was obvious that he'd been crying for a while now by how red and swollen his eyes were. And Frank imagined the worst when he only mentioned Mikey's name. He crouched on the floor so he could look at him, taking his shaky cold hands in his. "What happened?" He murmured, brushing Gerard's dark hair out of his face so he could see him. "Gerard, what happened to Mikey?" He asked again, looking straight into his eyes.

 "Uh...Car...Car crash...too much..too much blood lost..." Gerard mumbled words, struggling to make a proper sentence because of the pain the was hurting as if it was stabbing him repeatedly in the chest "M-Mikey....Mikeys.....dead" He managed to choke out. He let out another small sob soon after, burying his face in his hands. He knew if he cried much more, he'd make himself sick from how depressed he was at this point, worst case scenario being that he threw up - which he knew was likely.

 Frank just blinked like an idiot a couple times. He'd known Mikey for as long as he'd known Gerard – he couldn't believe he was gone. After a moment of silence that was only broken by Gerard's sobs, Frank sat on the bed next to him, wrapping his arms around Gerard protectively and pulling him close so his head was resting on his chest. "I'm so sorry…" He whispered into his hair. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here."


	2. We all fall down

Gerard would have comforted Frank as he saw him begin to sob, but with the lack of oxygen from where he was sobbing himself made it harder to speak, or do anything at all for that matter. He buried his face in his hands, as if attempting to shield himself. He couldn't function properly. Couldn't think properly.  Everything was numb...different. It was as if all the colours had been drained from the world and replaced with a dull black and white. He soon couldn't cry. Merely let tears roll down his face as he listened to the sounds of emotional agony from Frank.

Frank soon quietened as well, a numbness seeping in throughout his ink marked body, and then a heavy weight of dread sets in, causing him to slump down against the cold wall. He doesn't say anything, because nothing other than a small hiccup of breath will come out. His hands still and fall by his sides. A silence begins to settle itself in the room, yet not an awkward silence, nor a comfortable one. A heavy silence, only broken by the breathing and occasional hiccups of the two boys.

Surprisingly enough, Gerard was the first to break the silence. "I'm sorry..." He murmured. Although his words had been spoken quietly, they cut like daggers through the silence that had settled itself over their heads. The sound almost hurt Franks ears, him having become used to the suffocating silence. He opened his mouth to reply to his lovers words, but suddenly felt like no words could come out without him sobbing again. Gerard understood his hesitation.

 

For the next hour, no one attempted to speak. Gerard held a distant, vacant look in his once lively eyes. Frank just looked sad. All of Gerards senses were underwater, drowned by the guilt he buried himself under in that hour. It was his fault. It was always his fault. He shouldn't have texted Mikey while he was crossing that road. Maybe Mikey would still be alive if he hadn't. Frank seemed to notice how conflicted Gerard looked, because he staggered to his feet and took a couple of steps over before resuming his kneeling position, but this time next to Gerard. "Are you okay Gee?" He whispered, voice cracking. "Shit, that was a stupid question, I mean, your brother just died and..fuck Im being so dumb."

"No need to rub it in, Frank." Gerard murmured, snapping a little. Of course he wasn't okay, yet soon enough, he started feeling bad for having snapped at Frank. "Sorry.." He murmured again.

"No..No don't apologise, its not your fault" Frank replied

"But it is, Frank. If I hadn't texted Mikey on that road, maybe he'd still be here and none of this would have happened."

"Oh Gee...." Frank murmured. He pulled Gerard into a gentle hug, trying to comfort him "Don't blame yourself for this. It's not your fault. Its no ones fault except for that driver. They said he was drunk anyway."

"I...I..." Gerard shook his head as he began to feel a sick feeling rising from his stomach. "Fra-Frank, I think...I think I-I'm gonna throw up" He whispered. Frank quickly went and got a towel for him to do it on, realising trying to move Gerard would just make it worse for both of them. He also grabbed some tissues. "O-okay. Gee, Im gonna go and get s-some water for you. If you need me quickly, just bang on the floor. I-I'll be able to hear you"

Frank got up and quickly walked down the carpeted steps of the stairs. He made it to the kitchen before beginning his search for the bottled water.

Gerard began to feel dizzy. He was sweating and tired. He suddenly realised how close he was to throwing up and rolled over quickly enough to do it on the towel and not the floor. He groaned in pain, as he hadn't eaten much today so it had made his near empty stomach hurt. Before he knew it, he was throwing up again, and quite violently too. He decided he couldn't keep this up without hurting his throat or stomach, so he banged three times on the floor, hoping Frank would hear, as it only made a small noise. His attempts were soon proven to be a failure, as Frank was still downstairs somewhere. He sighed weakly. It was going to be a long, long night.

 


End file.
